Author

Sus Kongsbak Larsen, aka Your Guide to Peace, Founder and Director of On~Hudson Mediation Center, is a Peace Guide; Breakup, Loss and Grief Coach; and Divorce and Family Mediator who holds a lifelong dedication to guiding individuals, couples, families and communities towards Peace.

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Peace Guide, Life Coach, Divorce and Family Mediator, 518.668.4398
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How many times lately have you been reminded, ever so kindly by others, or perhaps less kindly by yourself, to let go of your drama or story? 

I would like to offer a different perspective, a self-loving approach, and some steps for you to play with. 

As quite an experienced story-weaver and from my work as a peace achievement specialist, my observation is that we create story and drama to protect ourselves from emotional pain. If we can acknowledge, accept and appreciate the gift and potential for freedom the story and drama bring, our creation of the story essentially can be considered an act of self-love.

Story and Drama have been given a bad rep. Since it is inevitable for most of us (if not all of us) to end up on stage acting out our own drama from time to time, why not take a positive step-by-step approach to freeing yourself from your tragedy?

Step 1. Celebrate Your Talent
Take a moment to celebrate your extraordinary talent and capacity as a story-weaver and dramatician. Laugh and say, "I congratulate myself for my amazing mastery in turning a mouse into an elephant and a small incident into a full-blown tragedy".

Step 2. Forgive Yourself
Remember to forgive yourself repeatedly. Beating ourselves up gets us stuck in guilt and shame, which are the pathway to lasting trauma. As we know, trauma can take lifetimes to disintegrate and heal. Forgiveness is the first step to setting yourself free.

Step 3. Accept the Gift
Accept the gift your story brings. You have created it not only to protect yourself but also as a way to become informed and aware. Studying your story, viewing your drama, are excellent ways to get to know yourself better.

Step 4. Assign Roles
Imagine there are two of you: Your Actor and your Spectator. Place your Actor on-stage or on the screen, ready for a captivating performance. Let your Spectator take a comfortable seat in the audience.

Step 5. Treat Yourself to a Night at the Opera
Without judgment or critique, let your Spectator observe the drama unfold, and take note of your Actor's emotional actions and reactions as if you were watching an unfamiliar actor in an unfamiliar movie or play. Patiently let yourself fill up with information for in-the-moment or later review. 

Step 6. Self-Awareness, Self-Acceptance and Self-Love
Gently lay out the scenes you have observed before you. Separate what is real in the story from what is fiction. Without judgment, filter the story until you reach a core awareness of your pain and of yourself. Embrace what comes up for you as being a part of your perfection. Allow yourself to take responsibility and lovingly include this part of you in what you already know to be you. Give it the attention it needs.
An example of this process could be:
"My story is that people are always taking advantage of me".
"I love to please people".
"Something in me craves acknowledgement".
"I fully and lovingly acknowledge all of myself".

Step 7. Take Your Freedom
Your welcoming this re-discovered part of yourself, your taking responsibility, and loving yourself will free you from the confines of your story. 

Your Story has served, as stories always do. Releasing your story is equivalent to releasing a part of your very creation and missing an opportunity to rediscover your brilliant perfection. Instead, let your drama work for you. Let it help you get to know yourself and embrace all facets of the jewel that is you. The story and pain will lose its solidity, and no longer confine you.

Standing Ovation!
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